Ways to STOP having the same old fight in your relationship – Understand the problem BEFORE the fight starts. If you are in a relationship, you’ve probably noticed that the same problems come up over and over. Perpetual problems often occur when your partner doesn’t understand or know your feelings. It’s easy in our fast-paced world to forget about our dreams or shove them aside. It’s even more frustrating when our partner doesn’t even know what our dreams are.
More than anything, we want our partner to always have our back and really “get” us. When you don’t feel this way, you start drifting apart.
Relationship wisdom from the Gottman Institute tell us that “acknowledging and respecting each other’s deepest, most personal hopes and dreams is the key to saving and enriching your marriage.” (This is based on 40 years worth of empirical research the institute has conducted with countless couples.)
This research suggests that the repeating conflict in your relationship represents thedifferences in your personalities and lifestyle.
If you feel frustrated by the conflicts you and your partner have over and over, know that many couples go through this after they’re together for a while.
But, there is good news! You can use The Gottman Institute’s research to overcome the perpetual problems in your relationship and stop the fights before they start. Here are seven helpful tips:
1. Be interested your relationship.
Couples who take a deep interest in their partner and their relationship are more likely to havea happy and satisfying relationship, than those who do not. Ask your partner questions about their day, their thought, their feelings — and then wait for their answers. This lets your partner know that you’re invested in the relationship.